day whatever.

Yeah, I stopped keeping track of the days. I applied for some jobs, went to school campus, and got a library card. Cool beans. Jive ho, Long Beach.

I made a dubstep mix for my friend's birthday and another for the boy. I don't know if I'll give to him or not because I don't want him to think I like him. ( HAHA.) I just think he would appreciate the mix, in all honesty. We were talking about dubstep, which is a genre I love alike the boy, and I'm a pirating fiend on the internet so lately I've been downloading like crazy. I've found some awesome mixes, so I've been throwing CDs together for awesome people. (I'll make one of you- any of the five of you followers- a mix if you want! I love making mixes.) I think I'll give it to him. Who cares what he makes of it, he's leaving and besides, it's good music.

My aunt is leaving, like I said, so I'm going tomorrow afternoon to see her through til Sunday. I'm not looking forward to being in my mom's house, but I miss my cats. Oh, yeah, and my aunt too. But there's going to be a period of time where it'll just be my mom and I on Sunday and I'm really, really not looking forward to it. I don't want to talk about drugs anymore and how stupid I am in subtle but seriously insinuating words, but it's bound to come. I'm going to try to be nice, but we'll see how it goes. I feel like it's too soon for me to be around her because when she calls me I get angry hearing her voice. I don't want to fuck up our relationship, but I need more time.

I'm going to find a way to see my friends for a little at least; They're way more important to me than this boy and I've found a way to make time to see him. I don't plan on getting fucked up, but there was a little while there when I was thinking about ways to get pills fronted to me or something like that. I really shouldn't. I won't. I wouldn't have anywhere to go if I did and it went wrong except for jail, because of my dad. I can't risk this shit.

I still need to email my counselor and tell her I'm not coming around anymore. I procrastinate. I probably won't tell her until the day before like last time even though I'm on my computer now and could type up a page to her. Thinking about it makes me feel exhausted, though.